Monday, November 7, 2011

Early Morning Musings...

My latest stretch of insomnia has been taxing, to say the least.  For the last few weeks, I have been awake most of the time.  Utterly exhausted, but not sleepy.  Not everyone that I have shared that description with has gotten what I mean when I say that.  For some reason, they don't grasp the difference between "exhausted", and "sleepy".  The people that do 'get it' probably suffer from their own brand of insomnia from time to time.  Anyway, when I have been able to catch a few winks, the maximum amount has been in the realm of two to three hours.  Not much at all.  Talk about torturous...my body has been starved for deep, fitful sleep.  Those few sleeping hours (every couple of days) are almost a curse.  My system would be settling into a big sleep session, when along comes insomnia to yank me back to the world of the living.  It wasn't done with me yet.  Those little snippets of pseudo-sleep were wrecking me when coupled with the insomnia. I would crawl out of bed feeling worse after those couple of un-restful hours. Calgon, take me away...

Finally, yesterday morning I crashed for my usual 'sike out' sleep, only this time I was to experience a shift from what seemed to be becoming the norm.  I slept.  Twelve hours.  All I can say is, "Call Ripley's!"  I crashed about 6:00 AM, and got up at about 6:30 PM.  Tuning back into reality was slow going, but when I did achieve a full state of consciousness I felt more rested than I had in...I can't even remember when I last slept that deep.  Or that long.

On top of my ongoing sleep issues, over the last week I have been feeling a bit 'off'.  More than usual.  (*wink*) The last couple of days I have been feeling like I am coming down with something.  Talk about a double whammy.  Actually, I think it is the malaise I have been experiencing that finally told my insomnia to sod off and knocked me out.  Since I have been feeling the onset of illness, I haven't been in a state to spend any extended time at the computer.  There are a few blog posts that have been percolating away in my gray cells, but I had to shelve them until I could form my thoughts into coherent sentences.


I did fill my time creatively.  Lately, I have been bitten by a crocheting bug.  I know only one basic stitch, but I am very good at creating stitches as I go. That may not make sense to most, but I think some out there might know what I mean.  It's my creative genes.  I have been working on some scarves, and I think they are turning out to be pretty cool.  I think of them as functional art.  I'll post them when I have decided that they are done.  I am a bit of an artistic tweaker...

As far as this last night, yes, I was wide awake for the duration.  Wide awake, but rested.  More alert than I have been. Feels good.  Now I hope I can shake off the malaise before I get full blown sick.

(Photo:  Lisa Erin Brown)
This morning when I opened the front door to retrieve the paper at about 6:00 AM, the sky was just barely starting to lighten.  I was moved to walk over to the marsh, so I put on my favorite hoodie (a soft, fuzzy zip-up number that feels like a Teddy Bear's fur...extremely cozy), grabbed the camera, and headed out.  The cool morning air felt great.  Very invigorating.

(Photo: Lisa Erin Brown)
(Photo: Lisa Erin Brown)
The sky over the expanse of marsh grasses that surround the Bull River was of varying shades of gray, tinged from the horizon with an orange glow.  Well, I guess one can see that from the pictures I posted.  (*grin*)  It was so peaceful standing there looking out at dawn breaking across the horizon line.  The condos here were very quiet, only a few scant neighbors heading off to work.  I could see the headlights of cars commuting into Savannah from Tybee Island as they crossed the Bull River bridge.  From my vantage point, they made no sound.  All I could hear was the cool breeze blowing by.  Sublime.

(Photo: Lisa Erin Brown)
Insomnia is exhausting.  It is frustrating.  Maddening, even.  As I walked back from the marshes edge, I noticed some movement above me and I looked up.  A couple of huge red tail Hawks were hanging, wings spread, as they rode the thermals.  Beautiful.  In that moment, sleep was the furthest thing from my mind.  After all, I would have missed all that.

(Photo: Lisa Erin Brown)

1 comment:

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